Every time I go in to write a record I have a clear and concise idea of what I want it to sound like, feel like, and elicit what response from the listener. I end up writing a batch of songs and that continues until I widdle down 13 from 30. Than I’ll go into the recording studio with a producer… usually just the two of us and start going over the songs. Laying down scratch tracks than listening back and re arranging from there until we cut the final song. All very immediate. Throughout the recording process those initial sounds, feelings and reactions from the songs I aimed for change, usually dramatically. Sonically you experiment and find different homes for each tune and all together as a whole the meaning of the record shifts. Again, all very fast and organic.
Having a label and people who count on you to write a “hit” or a “great” record changes all that. There are more opinions involved, oftentimes with people who don’t necessarily have a musical ear ( they love music but aren’t musicians). Even if they have great advice it adds to the pile of things needing to be done. Being a sensitive person as most musicians are I try to keep an open mind to everyones thoughts… I’ve learnt that doing that too long can drain you creatively and personally. They say ” we can’t move forward unless we have the songs where they should be” ( which don’t take that the wrong way if I was funding a project I’d say the same) …. and my instinctual response is always: ”where should they be?” I usually get a vague response if any as to what they mean by that. After all how do you judge art? or a hit? If there was a formula we’d all be selling gold records. At the end of the day, they just want the best from me… but how do you know when you’ve reached your best for what you are capable of right now? I miss the days of just writing, choosing the songs I like and than pairing up with one producer in one room to massage those chosen few. Simple. Money is a funny thing… It places a certain anxiety around what is expected. I can’t say I hate having a label, because I don’t. On the contrary I love them, so much. They give me so much; the exposure, the connections, the experiences that I wouldn’t normally get just by myself. They push me harder than I have ever pushed myself. Without them I wouldn’t have nearly as much as I do now. For that I am grateful.
I’m finding myself in a place 10 months after starting the writing of this record hitting a wall. I’m finding the songs already changed from the direction I started writing them with. I think it has to do with the time frame. I definitely am not where I was ten months ago, and that has probably changed a handful of times already. Crafting a body of work that is consistent and yet diverse is an art… and I feel like an amateur.
How do you get re-inspired? how do you find that spark again? I’m in the last leg of the marathon of this year towards the finish line of this record and I am feeling the burn, the exhaustion, the drain.. I keep over thinking, those negative thoughts come in and tell me ”you can’t finish this, your tired, you’ve got nothing more in you.” I feel like I’ve worked myself to the bone, sweat out a hundred peoples body weight in creativity and am shaking from fear. I never stop. I never will. It’s moments like these that hopefully force a breakthrough if I stick it out a little longer.
It’s days like these where I miss Dan ( Achen) the most, pray to him the most for guidance and if I’m lucky a song. Things use to be a lot simpler. I always think ”What would Dan say?” and today he says, keep running.
