Dream Duet

Every time I go in to write a record I have a clear and concise idea of what I want it to sound like, feel like, and elicit what response from the listener. I end up writing a batch of songs and that continues until I widdle down 13 from 30. Than I’ll go into the recording studio with a producer… usually just the two of us and start going over the songs. Laying down scratch tracks than listening back and re arranging from there until we cut the final song.  All very immediate. Throughout the recording process those initial sounds, feelings and reactions from the songs I aimed for change, usually dramatically. Sonically you experiment and find different homes for each tune and all together as a whole the meaning of the record shifts.  Again, all very fast and organic.

Having a label and people who count on you to write a “hit” or a “great” record changes all that. There are more opinions involved, oftentimes with people who don’t necessarily have a musical ear ( they love music but aren’t musicians). Even if they have great advice it adds to the pile of things needing to be done. Being a sensitive person as most musicians are I try to keep an open mind to everyones thoughts… I’ve learnt that doing that too long can drain you creatively and personally. They say ” we can’t move forward unless we have the songs where they should be” ( which don’t take that the wrong way if I was funding a project I’d say the same) …. and my instinctual response is always:  ”where should they be?” I usually get a vague response if any as to what they mean by that. After all how do you judge art? or a hit? If there was a formula we’d all be selling gold records.  At the end of the day, they just want the best from me… but how do you know when you’ve reached your best for what you are capable of right now? I miss the days of just writing, choosing the songs I like and than pairing up with one producer in one room to massage those chosen few. Simple. Money is a funny thing… It places a certain anxiety around what is expected. I can’t say I hate having a label, because I don’t. On the contrary I love them, so much. They give me so much; the exposure, the connections, the experiences that I wouldn’t normally get just by myself. They push me harder than I have ever pushed myself. Without them I wouldn’t have nearly as much as I do now. For that I am grateful.

I’m finding myself in a place 10 months after starting the writing of this record hitting a wall. I’m finding the songs already changed from the direction I started writing them  with. I think it has to do with the time frame. I definitely am not where I was ten months ago, and that has probably changed a handful of times already. Crafting a body of work that is consistent and yet diverse is an art… and I feel like an amateur.

How do you get re-inspired? how do you find that spark again? I’m in the last leg of the marathon of this year towards the finish line of this record and I am feeling the burn, the exhaustion, the drain.. I keep over thinking, those negative thoughts come in and tell me  ”you can’t finish this, your tired, you’ve got nothing more in you.” I feel like I’ve worked myself to the bone, sweat out a hundred peoples body weight in creativity and am shaking from fear. I never stop. I never will. It’s moments like these that hopefully force a breakthrough if I stick it out a little longer.

It’s days like these where I miss Dan ( Achen) the most, pray to him the most for guidance and if I’m lucky a song. Things use to be a lot simpler. I always think  ”What would Dan say?” and today he says, keep running.

XX

Amanda

This year was filled to the brim with some of the best shows I have ever seen live. I figured what better top 10 to go over than the incredible shows I saw in 2011…

1) The Black Keys- MOLSON AMPHITHEATER

#1 would be seeing the Black Keys at the Molson Amphitheater in Toronto. I saw them a few times in 2011 but my favourite would have to go to the show that I had the privilege of playing the “after show” to. It was shortly after this years NXNE where they so happened to come out to my showcase ( Royal Bangs was playing directly after me and they were in town for the Much Music Video Awards). I got a call that we were booked to play at the ACC directly after them and you can imagine what an incredible feeling took me over.It is an understatement to say that they are my favourite contemporary band to date ( very close being are The White Stripes RIP) They put on a hell of a show that night. When I heard the first few notes of Thickfreakness my heart started racing. I climbed as fast as I could down the make shift ladder they had propped up against the high as hell rooftop we were standing on to the ground of the lounge. I made a heated dash towards the stairs down to the floor. I ran past security and secured a spot front row stage left. . . Security tried to stop me from staying but I quickly whipped back that we were playing upstairs… The guy recognized me and said ” Hey it’s _______ from Twitter! I love you guys!” haha I laughed and said ” Cool man! so I can stay?” and he replied ” Yes, just don’t tweet n e thing or you’ll get me in shit” Of course, respectably the twitter fiend I am… Almost directly after he left I took a photo and tweeted it. Not in a malicious way but out of sheer excitement that this was something I had been visualizing for years and I HAD no choice but to document it. They played some of my favourites ( Stack shot billy, Girl is on my mind, The Breaks, Chop and Change….etc etc) Right after their second encore song I had to scurry away ( continuously looking over my shoulder to catch as much as I could) to go set up for our set. What a night! It will be forever remembered.

2) ZZtop- Casino Rama

My dad blasted These Texan blues rockers throughout my growing years. When I was in LA Billy Gibbons asked me to play him all my songs in a little vintage guitar shop around the corner from my house… In doing so he revived my than beat down attitude about music (I was in school for guitar and down on myself for wanting to be better than I was…impatient , naturally) He said to me , ” I’ll see you again one day, I’m sure of it”  That was it… He lit that fire right back up under my ass. I had tickets to see them the year before but they were opening for Aerosmith and Steven Tyler fell and broke something and the show was cancelled. My dad surprised me and bought us tickets to go see them at Casino Rama. The crowd was filled with beer drinking bickers and their spouses or lovers or girlfriends who looked like dog the bounty hunters wife. It was perfection. They age so goddamn well. Billy Gibbons may be old but once he starts playing he is the sexiest mother fucker around.

3) Gary Clark Jr- Rivoli

I had heard ” Bright Lights Big City” a few times before I got on guest list for this show ( thank you Adam Countryman) I had no clue what to expect. The place was packed and as they got going I felt like I was transported to some south delta juke joint. Bodies were grinding, voices hollering, blunts being smoked, shots being passed around, feet stomping… and the music BLARRING. They came as a three piece and slayed me. I have not seem a live BLUES show w/ this type of energy ever! Truly mind blowing.

4) The Dead Weather-Sound Academy (this was 2010… butttt who’s really counting)

So, yea this was  10′ … What matters is that it was The Dead Weather. And it was the first time I got to see them live ( I missed their Horseshoe show) They put on exactly the type of performance I thought they would. It was dark, loud, dynamic and sexy. Grimey, hookey, bluesy, sex. Their conjoint charisma on stage lurks in your veins for weeks after. Jack White is like some crazy conductor that drives The Dead Weather… They all own their parts but to me he will always be the star.

5) Tom Petty Tribute- NYC

You can see me in the darkness at the top right hand side of the stage...

I got to go to New York this year to see my darling friends The Sheepdogs perform as apart of the annual Tom Petty Tribute show(s). My birthday was just around the corner and it was the perfect celebration. 2 nights of hits! 2 great venues ( Music Hall of Williamsburg & The Bowery Ballroom) in NYC! Picture live band Karaoke with interchangeable famous people trading songs off… but legit and not off key kitschy. Some highlights were hanging and seeing a few cast members from one of my fav tv shows of all time : ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ( Micheal Cera & Alia Shawka) sing Tom Petty songs. Also, Jared and Nathan from Kings of Leon, Jessie Baylin ( Nates wife) won over both nights with her insanely magnetic voice. Cute side story here… for all the saps, After Jessie was done she came backstage and Nathan ran up to her and said ” Baby, when you sang it was like the whole room turned technicolor! you’re amazing!” geeeeeeeezus, adorable. The Sheepdogs always make me smile but they really outdid themselves with a jaw dropping cover of ” Breakdown”. Other guests included: Pat Carney, Justin Long, member of The Strokes…. oh and Scarlet johanssen was beside me smoking outside haha…Open bar, great people, great venue, perfect tribute to an incredible songwriter.

6) Sam Coffey and the iron lungs- Horseshoe Tavern

Sam is one of my best friends. You will hear me gushing about him every few posts it seems. Seeing him play this year the The Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto  with a huge audience in attendance brought so much happiness to my heart. They were opening for Shonen Knife… and somehow it fit so perfect. They are some of  the most entertaining and talented performers that Ontario has to offer. To me, there is only a matter of time before they hit it big. I love them, this show was a small step in the direction they are headed… success.

7) Rifflandia- Victoria – Metro Theatre (we played one of the most memorable shows of my life)

What can I say about Victoria… Or Rifflandia?! This past fall tour seemed like we were following some sort of whacky heat wave across Canada. When we got off the ferry in Victoria after leaving drizzly Vancouver we were hit with sunshine! Already a great start to an even better evening. We checked into the coolest looking motel ( it was so vintage and looked like it was straight out of Scarface).. We lugged our suitcases up a few tiny flights and were rolling down the outdoor hallway to our room…We heard some guitar playing in front of us with the door swung open. In the room directly beside us was our friends in Young Rival… Who we had coincidentally bumped into at some gas station on the 1 in the middle of no where (our tours were tagging one another all the way out) We had a good laugh of our happenstance meetings, shared a drink and went into town to check in. Rifflandia was perhaps the most on top of business and well organized festival I’ve ever played. Kudos to them for making everything smooth and proper. We loaded into the Metro Theatre (red velvet theatre seated venue) and got giddy about playing the damn place. Not often do we get booked in fancy old school theaters. This was a treat.. I had heard rumor about Victoria being killer audiences, very receptive and warm; still I don’t think I was prepared for what they gave us. We played our set that night and from the very first song people were engaged. I was looking side to side to Nick and Pat giving them the ” What kind of drugs r these kids taking? and can we get some and force feed them to every audience we play from now on?!” They were so respectful and into it. I could feel this hair chilling connection as the place filled to the brim and we went through song into song. It was a magical show to look out into a crowd and see directly in their eyes how much they were “getting it”. We finished to them roaring and quickly started packing up ( festivals are tight on change overs) They started screaming ” ENCORE” and we laughed figuring it would die down… 2 minutes later… it just got louder. At that point the sound man turned on the house music to coherse them otherwise and we intuitively knew to get the hell of stage and hide until they stopped. Nick and I stood in the backstage hallway sans Pat (who had run behind the side stage curtains on the opposite side) People started BANGING their feet on the theatre floor… It sounded like thunder. That’s when my heart started racing… I looked and Nick … Laughed and said ” What the hell are we going to do?!” You see, we had no more songs rehearsed for this tour. We had played them all… and we thought we wouldn’t be allowed to seep into the time slot of the headliners show. So we stood there and just as the audience was sort of dying down we hear them loose their shit … applauding… Confused Nick and I peer into the theatre and see Pat jetting across stage toward us. Well that did it, they weren’t going to take no for an answer. The program co-ordinator came over to us and basically said we HAD to play an encore. So in 2 seconds we looked at one another and Pat said  “Heroine?” and I said ” Satisfied Mind”. That was that, we marched onto the stage…I remember throwing my water bottle somewhere side stage out of sheer bafflement and adrenaline. We played the song, jamming our way through it ( not knowing what was what) and finished with the shittiest of shit eating grins on our faces. Victoria we LOVE YOU.

8) Michael Rault- The Mansion

I first heard Michel Raults music a year or so ago and it got me excited. I looked into his stuff and thought ” my god it’s about time”. Time flows by and new music enters my ears so often that for whatever unjust reason I had put his stuff away in the back vaults of my memory. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I had a show in St. Catherines, ON at the OLDEST licensed bar in Canada  called The Mansion… I looked at my calendar and realized a familiar name. When I knew for sure we were on the same bill I had high anticipation to see the live show. We loaded in, and soon after they marched up on the little stage. I was standing at the back holding my drink when they begun. A handful of people were sitting down gabbing away but it wasn’t soon after his first number that everyone myself included sprung to their senses and stood up to sway their bodies and have smiles adorn their faces. I felt like I was transported to the 1950′s when Elvis was in full swing, and all his peers were so eloquently writing catchy pop tunes that made your knees weak. It was such a pleasure to see the cohesive intuition and talent Michael and his band owned. It was so refreshing to hear songs that were tightly crafted… Oh and let me not oversee Raults incredible guitar playing. Darling was playing insane leads while singing flavorful and memorable melodies over top. Just such a talent. What a treat.

9) Portishead- NYC

It was the first day I flew into NYC for the Tom Petty tribute that I was surprised by my friend/confident/label big boss man Joel that he had tickets for us to see Portishead. We got there soon after arriving on the tar mat and eating some dinner. With drinks in hand we made our way over to the side stage box. The venue filled to the brim and you could feel the excitement of everyone buzzing in the air… Or maybe I was buzzed on the long island ice teas ( My first time trying one ever) The lights dimmed and you could literally hear everyone take in a deep breath as if they knew what they were in for and they had to get ready. I looked around me as the third song was heavily in weigh. In our box stood Brian Burton (Danger Mouse). As if I wasn’t already reveling in the fact that I was there and Portishead was blowing my soul away, this was the cherry on the NYC double cheesecake. The show was monumental. I have no other way of putting it. I’ve had that feeling of emotions crashing down like waves  over the whole audience ( swaying everyone to and fro sometimes violently and other times calm and soothing … all very collective, with the band orchestrating the whole mass) at a Bjork concert years ago… Those are moments in music I live for. There was just such an engaging and magical feel to everything. Even typing this now I wish I could bring you all back in time to experience it. If music is healing, this sure hit the spot.

10) Dwayne Gretsky- Dakota Tavern 

Dwayne Gretzky is this pseudo-super-group-cover-band here in Toronto made up of Sweet Thing, but with a continuously rotating line-up, the make-up of Dwayne Gretzky always contains an element of surprise and is known to have included members of Arkells, Flash Lightnin’, the always unpredictable Allie Hughes, and whoever else might jump onstage. They had this residency at my favourite bar in Toronto called The Dakota Tavern. We got booked to open for one of the last 2 nights. We finished and when they started up I swear to god I have never seen more audience participation, dancing, sing alongs and overall hutzpah for a Toronto audience in my life. They lit up the dark little cove- like -tavern with so much spirit it probably illuminated all the street lights from Dundas and Ossington to King City. For a cover band to engage me that much impressed me beyond my standards of regular bands blowing me away. They played classics but than in the same swift slay played everyones  guilty pleasures including busting out some rapping! Hollllla!

Hallelujah, the cover band gods can rejoice in peace.

ALBUMS: I am going to approach this Top 10 list a little different. I’m going to put down the top ten that infiltrated my being this year. Not necessarily the ones that were put out in 2011 but the ones that inspired me the most. Make sense? Here we go…

1) The Black Keys- Brothers

Ahhhhh, you may have a slight feeling of Deja Vu if you read the Top 5 albums I listed for last year. That’s because Brothers remains at the top of the tops for me in 2011. It is such a strong album that just one year wasn’t enough time to full devour it. I love this record. It still hasn’t grown old on me. I think that is the tall tale sign that a body of work is timeless. Well done boys.

2)Ann Peebles- I can’t stand the rain 

This is an old record. It was originally put out in 1974. I found out about her through my friend Ewan Currie (who you may recognize from a little known band called The Sheepdogs) Ewan is one of my many sources for great tunes. I have this thing where I will text, email or call one of my “music dealers” at obscure hours in the  night…morning (maybe after a few glasses) and demand a fix… Something new, something old, something for that night, morning, next day… something, anything to open my ears and penetrate my heart. Ann was a golden gem for me in 2011. She was considered the female Al Green… The Queen if you will of soul music mamas. Many could argue that there are others who could snag this spot (i.e Aretha Franklin) but Ann was a breathe of fresh air. I love Aretha, grew up on the womans voice but hearing Peebles croon and wail over great arrangements and deliver heartfelt lyrics with a performance that could kill a man…slayed me. What a woman, what songs. This album in particular was a revelation for me and really molded a few of the new tunes I have written for my next record. You may recognize the title track “I can’t stand the rain” As it has been covered by numerous artists… Hers, to me, is still the best.

3) Sam Coffey and the iron lungs- self titled

What can I say about Sam Coffey? You probably don’t know him. You probably should. I was playing a gig this year in Kitchener Ontario… We got there early and loaded in our gear & was greeted by a highly energetic, eccentric young man named Andy. He approached us for an interview for a zine he runs. His charming energy was so infectious we couldn’t help but agree if just for the laughs he brought out of us. As he shot off question by question in what seemed to be light-year speed I looked around me at the few boys walking about the large empty dark lit bar. They seemed unassuming enough, dressed like regular rock and roll kids with a punk swagger… A little scruffy on the edges and all together a motely crew. I thought for sure they were going to be a straight ahead garage punk band. After we finished our set (we were the openers) they took the stage. I think I was in the midst of eating of Pats leftovers fries when they hit the first verse of the first song. HOLY FUCK … was all I could say repeatedly as the food fell out of my mouth. The interviewer from earlier was up there with them jumping around like a maniac playing killer guitar… Sam (The lead singer, guitarist and primary songwriter) at times had more swagger in his voice than Elvis… The songs were melodic, hooky, loud, grungy… everything I want in music. Picture 1950′s do wop mixed in with garage rock and a flicker of country twang… Gang vocals and the most exuberant performers I have seen to date. I fell in love. Immediately after their set I rushed Sam and basically told him we were getting together next week to write some songs together. He humbly accepted (Not that I would have gave him a choice) and a friendship was born. Their album is stunning. If you don’t mind rough on the edges production and live for great songwriting you will LOVE this record.

4) Norman Petty (Produced Mexican Surf Music)-  That’s Swift // Richard Swift-Ground trouble jaw EP

There is a split for 4 here:

First:

Norman Petty was an American musician, songwriter and producer who was born in Clovis New Mexico. He is most famous for recording with people like Roy Orbison, Waylon Jennings and Buddy Holly. Norman cut a record in the early 60′s with mexican musicians playing Surf music. It was put out under the title ” That’s Swift” and it is brilliant. It was in the spring of 2011 that I read on my favourite blog : Rubber City Review about this compilation. At the time I was heavy into surf and finding anything related turned me on. I immediately bought the album and played it on repeat while driving through the early spring and hot summer. There is something to say for instrumentals with no vocals that keeps you wanting more… and more… and more.

Second:

I literally JUST found out about Richard Swift through Kevin Augunas (who I will talk more about in #7) Aside from the EP being clever, arranged masterfully and sonically killer his voice is something special. It’s insanely unique. You can hear he is technically proficient and has stunning tone . He captures the same magic as some of the great soul singers of our time yet and in the same instance in a flick of a switch he will play around with it and it comes out sounding like Wanda Jackson; drenched in attitude and swagger. (ie.” Would You ” this is the very first song on the EP, listen to it and you will agree). I am always so overwhelmed with joy when I realize there are killer artists out there who have a very “throwback” type sound but re-establish it with their own flare and charisma. If you don’t own this you should. Enough said.

5) The Kills- Blood Pressures

I will admit I never got into The Kills until this record. We were on tour across Canada this fall and my friend Greg ( who we were touring with… he is in a great band called The Dirty Mags) couldn’t say enough about them. One night in the hotel after the show partying it came on someone’s ipod dock. All of a sudden it reeled me in and had me listening. I knew a lot about Alison because The Dead Weather blew me away with their 2 records. Maybe it was being involved with that project that really rubbed off on Blood Pressures. There were hooks, it was blues-ier, had more grab to it than the others I had heard and tried on many attempts to get into. After tour I bought the record. When I got home I watched a video they shot of an acoustic performance of ” Baby says” to promote the release. It was after that when I became hooked.

6) Dinner Belles-West Simcoe County

I will start by saying I am a sucker for roots music. Over the past year and a bit I kept hearing about the ” Dinner Belles” through friends who knew friends who were in the band, to strangers etc. so forth… but for whatever reason I never went out of my way to get a copy or go to a show. It wasn’t until about a month ago… Maybe even a few weeks, when I played a show at Fanshaw College in London Ontario with my beautiful friends Monster Truck that this band was brought up again in conversation. This time, the dots connected and I realized that my good friend Brandon Bliss (Who plays keys in Monster Truck) was in the Dinner Belles! Well! That did it, some lightbulb went off & That night I went online and scoured for something, anything of theirs… I came across a La Blogotheque post about them which included a bunch of off the cuff videos of them performing some songs in an incredible old barn surrounded by family , friends and kids. I was completely floored. You really just have to listen for yourself. If anything it will make you want to dance, maybe sit on a porch with a drink and a smoke, go walk outside and smell the air around you… I got the music finally as I was driving from Alberta to Vancouver. I haven’t stopped listening since. What a golden record.

7) Michael Kiwanuka-Tell me a tale (Isle of Wight sessions)

I was sitting down a few days ago at the Dine Alone office having a meeting with Kevin Augunas (accomplished producer, engineer and mixer, who has worked with exceptional talent including the The Black Keys, Cold War Kids, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros etc. etc.) We were shooting the shit about music and analog and vintage… Talking about modern day recordings that sound soulful and old. He stopped me and said ” you need to hear this” he pulled out his Iphone, tapped through it and pressed play on what may be one of my new favourite artists. Michael Kiwanuka. He sounds like he should have been born in the late 60′s and sung next to Al Green, Otis Redding and Ray Charles. The arrangements on this EP are phenomenal. I am sold.

8) Monster Truck- Brown EP

Monster Truck is one of my favourite bands ever. I feel so lucky that a lot of the names on this top 10 list compiled of friends. MT being one of them. The first show we played together was in Hamilton at a club called ” This Ain’t Hollywood” I remember as soon as they started (not knowing what they were like aside from my manager telling me I would fucking love them) I couldn’t stop head banging. Yes, Head Banging, feet stomping, hair whipping, ass shaking. It was involuntary and infectious. the whole crowd moved like some wild tribe together. It was to me what ACDC is to me… incredible-riff based-hooky-have a good time-loud-kickass- rock and roll. Fronted by Jon who plays bass and can sing smokey circles around most of many, Jer who rips your head of with his insane guitar playing swagger, Steve who hits the drums like he wants revenge and Brandon who plays keys almost zen like but with the soul notion as if tomorrow could never come…these boys slay their audience. The recordings are nothing short of what they give off in any live setting. It’s music you throw on to get ready to go out, in the car to get your day or night going, while you are out, at home just for kicks, in the shower, in bed to have sex to… you name it I’m into it.

9) My Morning Jacket- Circutial

I kept reading about My Morning Jacket this year. It was almost as if I couldn’t escape them. Reviews for this album were everywhere and always were 4 stars. I think anyone who pays attention to music would have been blind not to know about My Morning Jacket in 2011. I admit, I am so tardy on this one… Call me a late bloomer but it took me until this past winter tour to get a hold of the damn album. I remember driving through the gorgeous rockies and Southern interiors of British Columbia with Circutial playing. It seemed to paint the perfect soundtrack to the scenery. This album is nothing short of it’s hype which is hard to accomplish these days. What a feat! I’m a self professed sap so my favourite on the record is “ Wonderful- the way I feel“. Stunningly poetic, hair raising body of work.

10)Alabama Shakes-Alabama Shakes EP // Shovels and Rope-Cary Ann Hearst & Michael Trent

There are 2 in my 10 spot…

First,

There was a video passed along to me from Joel (DA) of Alabama Shakes performing “You ain’t alone” As soon as it started up and Brittany Howard opened her mouth I had chills. I know I’m going to love something if in the first 25-30 seconds I get hair raising on my arms. I searched to find more material from them and came out with their Bandcamp page that has a stunning 4 song EP.

Second,

I was in Buffalo, NY for my birthday this year with a friend visiting a friend who was playing a show. That said friend is a talented musician/producer named Butch Walker. I walked into the green room and there sat Cary Ann Hearst doing her make-up and talking in the most infectious southern drawl I have ever heard! I swear to god I wanted to record it so I could hear her voice throughout my day just to bring a smile to my face. She could be saying the dirtiest shit and it sounded so goddamn charming. Dressed up in a frilly white country bumpkin dress to the floor she was sipping a glass of Jameson and chatting away. Beside her was a skinny little guy with a smile that could kill a girl… wearing a trucker hat and I’m pretty sure a western shirt of some sort…Or maybe it was a jean jacket…or well, ya…the smile was distracting. I stood there sipping a beer and talking away to friends only to catch myself trying to listen to what those two southern drawls were going on about. You could tell they were special … They had that same spark and spunk (Well Cary Ann had most of the spunk) that reminded me of Dolly Parton. Butch had told me a little bit about them… That they were opening, they were called : Shovels and Rope  that he loved them and he knew I would too, oh and that Cary Ann sung like ” the devil was coming out of her”… So as the show commenced I hoped into my seat and waited with baited breath for them to start. And start they did, with Cary Ann commanding attention stomping her feet on the ground strumming an acoustic, wailing… Michael pounding on a kick drum and banging on a snare and singing harmonies… They were magnetic. A perfect duo. I don’t think anyone could leave there without falling madly in love with them. Their full length album it such a feel good record. I swear it’s the gloomiest day outside in King City right now but with this record spinning the sunshine seems to find its way into my heart.

* Honorable mentions : Michael Rault-Ma-ME-O & Alberta Cross- Broken side of Time

thanks to the Boogieman Jordon for passing this along.

X

Amanda

“Of course” I thought as within the first three seconds of Noahs foot stomps I realized it was “Boom Boom” he was playing. I didn’t even have to hear notes. I just knew the way his body started moving that it was a Hooker song. I feel like there is such a direct attitude and swagger in relation to any John Lee song that whenever someone covers one you can tell by slight body language changes.

I sat there as he played staring at the people in the room… all ten of them. Each person simultaneously became more alive. There was magic in the air, there was more drinks being ordered. Again, just as I had had in Los Angeles I was having an ” AHA” moment in Calgary this particular evening.

“Well fuck me” I thought as I realized I had lost the very clear message I had got two years prior. My hands simultaneously found their way to my forehead as I pressed against my eyes almost sinking them back into my skull. The more the song went on, the more I cringed at my temporarily diverted path into quasi- pop- folk- something- or- other- music. Than I laughed, as people gave Noah a standing ovation I stayed seated shaking my head and laughing. “Again” I spoke to myself,  ” God dammit I let this happen again.”

for the next two weeks across Canada on our tour I watched as Noah opened the crowd with his straight up blues repertoire. I silently suffered, anxious to get back to King City where I could begin to sink my fingers into these strings deep and start finally following the path that has been set out for me. I was still somewhat nervous to announce anything of my new re-found revelation. So, night after night I sat at the edge of the stage watching as he played…. studying his fingers… how his right hand went from a fist and exploded banging the strings with such vigor, like a claw or a firework… I watched how his left hand danced around different licks and riffs… How depending on what type of blues or bluesman he was imitating that dance would change ever so slightly. I burned these images into my brain.

Back before I moved home to King City while still in California, Noah was the first person to teach me how to play slide. It was outdoors… we sat together on the ledge of my front porch. It was a warm and perfect day in hollywood. I asked him to teach me Robert Johnson’s “Ramblin’ on my mind” It took him 2 and a half hours. I played that song no lie 0ver 30 times a day… I would wake up, play it five times, eat, play it again, talk to roommates, be playing it… and so on… I’m surprised no one tried to kick me out of the house for it.

(* Here is a video of a younger me playing Ramblin’ in my second residence ( A house on Wilcox ave with roommates instead of my cigarette box on Fuller ave) bedroom  in Hollywood. At this point I must have played this song for three days straight.)

Naturally the day I returned from tour I grabbed a slide that was collecting dust in my bedroom and played “Ramblin”. I stumbled like anyone after two years would… But just like riding I bike, in no time I was whipping around the neck … my heart racing from excitement.  I had so much to learn, so much to catch up on. I felt like I had just wasted two years I could have been doing THIS!!!!

I stopped playing shows, got a job at some salon as a receptionist and started rigourously  teaching myself how to actually play guitar and sing. It didn’t come easy to me, in fact… I think one of the reasons why I love what I do now is that I’m always challenged and ALWAYS risking looking like a fool while writing or learning songs that are way more advanced than my skill level; forcing myself to perform them & record them in little to no time. I pretty much live in a constant state of anxiety with gradual breaks of the most satisfying feeling of  accomplishment and pride when I do finally nail it.  As soon as I feel that satisfaction I throw myself back into the lions den scouring to survive and use the instincts I’ve learnt thus far to guide me.  Because it’s not just about skill. It’s about getting that skill to such a level that it’s effortless to a point where you can deliver the most sincere and honest song with those skills. After all, if there aint’ no feeling behind any guitar lick I don’t care about it, and neither should you.

A year later I recorded “Hidden Dreams” under the moniker ” The Coppertone”. I have never felt so damn good and right as I felt during those sessions. I had finally felt like I was in the right place at the right time. Amazing how trusting that voice inside your head/heart can do for you… in my case the voice of John Lee Hooker.  ;)

Since than in-between playing, recording, getting by, trying to be social etc… I have been planning my trip down south.  ( Yes, I apologize I took forever to get to the actual point of this four part blog entry… yes this is the third… yes there will be a fourth… don’t hate me) I figured I would reward myself with it   ( the trip) once I had certain apsects of my career in place. My goals were these:

1) Have a manager

2) Have a record label

3) Have a booking agent

4) Have a publicist

5) Have at least two records out ( Hidden Dreams, Hymns for the Hollow )

6) Have a solid understanding and knowledge of where down South I am going and why.

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The list is just a list, and it’s silly and actually reads pretty lame but it was what I needed to keep me focused. I’m goal oriented and so I knew if I wanted something bad enough, ifit was burning inside of me every day I would work damn hard to get there. After I wrote the above list … 6 months later I had checked everything off.  The day I checked the last one off I came home, turned on my record player, walked over to my wall of records, slowly and pleasurably sifted through them… all the while, the scent of the cardboard sleeves and dust filled the air with the most amazing aroma ( like that of an old classic book that you open in the library and as the pages flutter by your thumb… that unmistakable scent of rich stories and archaic parchment fills the air) I used my index finger to help will out my celebration song…

I was having a “nervous breakdown” in my pill box sized ,white stucco- jail barred windowed-one room apartment in Hollwood, CA. The day was beyond blistering hot that it felt like the walls were sweating. I was down on myself. I had just got back  another “F” on some class I was busting my ass to catch up in. I think we had to play the solo in “Stairway to heaven”. I love Jimmy Page but that day I resented him like some passive aggressive lover after years of a dysfunctional marriage.  My desire to play guitar never wavered even on days like this however it seemed like I had just lost the love of my life in the army and I was mourning something big. I couldn’t figure out what it was… I was in L.A. in school for guitar after faking an entrance exam and begging them to let me stay… I had my own 24 hour practice room that I could be as loud as I wanted to be and play as much as I wanted to play at anytime, I had sun shining and perfect weather, I was surrounded by people who were better than me and who I could learn from…. As far as anyone (myself included) was concerned I should have been on top of the world. Tears were streaming down my freckled face as my laptop itunes  on shuffle created the soundtrack to the misery. I was overwhelmed. I was taking in so much so fast. I had everyone around me obsessing about fame and glory and rock n roll and sex and drugs and parties and clothes….and …and… and. Even though I was well rooted in where I grew up, my ideals and my goals, I am sensitive and couldn’t help but feel suffocated by all of my peers.  Somehow in the midst of my own obsession ( the guitar) and theirs ( the fame) I fell astray to what really, truly makes me happy.

Than it happened.

The first 18 seconds… The instrumental first pass at John Lee Hookers 12 bar turn around for “Boom Boom”  pierced through my cluttered brain and sliced my tears away. Everything paused around me. It felt like I was frozen in time.

“Boom, Boom, Boom , Boom”

The hair stood up on my arms like a ghost waltzed into the room.

“Gonna shoot you right down”

My foot started uncontrollably stomping.

“Right off of your feet”

And he did… He shot me. Right than and there in my personal hell hole of a sauna prison on Fuller Ave in-between Hollywood BLVD and Sunset, John Lee Hooker killed me.  Within my death everything became crystal clear. It felt spiritual, I had a knowing. In all of my doubt, and in all of my worry… In all of my clouded judgement and perplexed faith… In all of my burden and all of my pain I found him… I found the blues.  With that I was re-born. Now, I know you are thinking “what do you mean you found the blues?” All I can say is I truly god honest feel like John Lee Hooker heard me cry that day and from the grave gave me the answer. Maybe he drank one too many  down there and thought I was Bonnie Raitt in trouble…. regardless he spoke to me.  It wasn’t through any lyric in “Boom Boom”. It wasn’t through any specific chord. It was through the feeling… It’s the same unexplainable feeling I spoke about in regards to the deep south earlier. That “Knowing”. It wasn’t halfway through the song when I picked up my guitar and started playing along realizing that what I needed… What I had to do… was right there with me all along; play the blues. Yes, it sounds increasingly tacky that I just said ” play the blues” & self professed John Lee Hookers prophetic message to me to do so; however that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Everything changed from that day on. All the music I had on my computer, back home on vinyl… All the music I knew so well I now felt as if I was hearing it for the first time. Man did I feel energized. I dropped out of school and dedicated every second of my day to listening, studying, reading, watching, jamming, questioning, digging for information and songs from all the great bluesmen/women I could find. I was a research maniac. I’d start with someone I loved … for this stories sake lets say John Lee Hooker. Than I would research his major influences, after stumbling upon those I would find theirs and so on and so on. I would find patterns and tones and sounds that connected them all together. I felt more alive than I ever had. It gave me purpose, it gave me back my life. I realized that there were things I could learn in school for guitar ( The basics… again, I knew nothing before going… not even the notes of each string to tune the damn thing)  and than there were things that I could only learn through listening and imitating. Life made sense again. I did the exact same thing as I did when I taught myself how to sing. Listen to old records repetitively over and over again picking out each note…. slowing down every phrase till I’d nail it and than move on. I was a sponge and the blues was my water.

After a non stop blues bingeing frenzy that spanned another year and a half I moved back home to Canada. I got sick of the needy transient people that were seeking recognition without hard work. I came back to the countryside to start anew and build something. The move back wasn’t as glamorous as I just made it seem… I was once again going through a dark time. Shortly after I flew back home I got diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. Something that took me the next year and a half to “conquer”. Very quickly I was heavily medicated and seeing a therapist once a week to understand the illness and make severe lifestyle changes to cope with it. During that year I met Dan Achen who became my confident, my producer, and my best friend. We decided to embark on an album.

He knew what was going on with me. I could go weeks without getting out of bed and than one day call him up and say I was ready to record. The medication had numbed my emotions and I never felt so depressed in my life than that year (I sing about the meds on a song called “I loved before”) The numbness seemed to take away my creativity. The mood stabilizers killed my “highs” or what I thought was my “inspirational bouts”. I was so lost. We were working on my record ” Love me Till I’m Me Again”. A rather clunky title I admit.

blah blah blah I’m now rambling. . .

The album was completed nearly two years later. In retrospect it’s funny to me because it is more pop than it is anything “bluesy”. It was my stepping stone. It was my safety net, my warm fuzzy medicated blanket of survival that year and a half. I was no where near ready nor capable to create anything respectable and call it “blues ” or “blues/rock” or “blues inspired” or whatever the hell else sub category of blues you can name. So I did what I could. And that was that.

Fast forward to half a year after that release… I  had managed to safely and slowly ween myself off of medication.  I was on tour across Canada with my ex boyfriend and fellow musician Noah Engh. We were in Calgary Alberta on a cool Fall evening. I was sipping a glass of Crown Royal on the rocks. I was fucking deathly bored playing the songs off of the album I had recorded while being sedated ( Cowboy chords only do it for so long with me… usually a song or two and than I’m over it). I was feeling the same itch I had back in Hollywood when I would wake up every monday morning and leap out of bed in time to walk all the way across town to spend half of my fifty dollar food budget for that week on new music. Something to get me going, something to start digging my fingers into. Noah and I were playing at some roadhouse. The stage lights came on, Noah walked to the stage, sat down on the wooden chair, grabbed his archaic rickety gold spray painted KAY and started stomping his foot….

That’s when John Lee Hooker kicked me in the ass…

( I know I know I did this the last time, but I have to do it again… TO BE CONTINUED)

I’m laying half quilt covered, half outstretched on a sofa bed in our hotel in the heart of Oakland, CA. I’ve spent the past three days here helping my little sister move into residence ( she is going to CCA). I am freshly cleaned ( I smell like Basil meets Lavender thanks to Veronicas Organic Whole Foods body soap). My hair, wavy and wet possibly dripping onto the pillow that has me perched up at the moment… this could be annoying later… the wet pillow.

Anyhow! As per usual, All I can do while I am on vacation ( or away) is think about music 89 percent of the day… The other 11 percent spent thinking about food and where I’m off to next… in between and co -mingling are thoughts of sex, trying to bring myself to the present moment with deep breathes, sleep and love. I’m a pretty easy person to please once you know how I tick. So that all being said, I have been putting a lot of thought into the trip down south I plan on embarking on this winter.

What trip to the South you may ask? well…well..well… let me explain,

Ever since I can remember I have had this constant whisper in my ear towards the deep south. Not in the way of visions or anything but more so whenever I heard music wailing from the scratched vinyl on my fathers record player with Junior, Elmore, Hooker etc. Saw a picture of field workers, or heard that thick southern drawl for the very first time… I felt a sense of De Ja Vu… Call me a hippie or a gypsy but I really do believe I have lived many past lifetimes down those dirt roads, in those juke joints, and playing on those porches. Sometimes in life there is no explainable reason for you to feel a certain “knowing” about a place, a certain sense of feeling like “home” while listening to some old crop recordings… okay , maybe it’s just me, but regardless that is where this story starts.

When I grew up around old blues, soul, motown, jazz, early rock n roll… I never really thought about it much. In comparison to how much I obsess over it now I basically co-existed with it than. It was the soundtrack to my childhood and I never really “listened” until I got a little older. There would always be music playing when I was hanging out with my dad. Wether it was with the windows down on our weekly weekend  trip into Toronto to go walk along Queen street and window shop, at home in the driveway blasting out of the garage as he worked on something and I sat close by possibly playing basketball with scratched up knees, regardless wherever my dad was when he wasn’t working there was music; and when he was home I was close by. I now associate some of my favourite songs with memories of my father.  No one in my house ever listened to radio that much, to be honest I don’t think I knew it existed until I was in my teens ( when The Backstreet Boys and Britney came through the air waves) By than, I was distracted by hormones and trying to survive being a very odd looking, even more odd mannered tween.  Adolescence was not my strong point.  I really didn’t know that the music I knew ever word and beat to ( mainly music sung and played by old black men and women) was not the type of music my peers knew and felt the wall I did.

My first realization of this was my first year in college. I was attending Sheridan College for Illustration, I was staying in the dorms there and slowly but surely managed to socialize enough to get access into some first week hoopla party. There I had my first few drinks ( for real… I’m a late bloomer) I also had my first few confusing conversations that rapidly made me realize that not a lot of people knew about my heroes. Those being the likes of Junior Kimbrough, John Lee Hooker, Lightning Hopkins, Son House… I think I managed to find some common ground with Etta ( James). Some girl went to some family wedding and at the wedding singer sung it… that or she heard Katie Holmes sing it in some 90′s rom-com.. or wait was that Dawsons Creek… doesn’t matter. I was introduced to being a freshman at the same time I was introduced to popular culture Shock.

It didn’t matter how many times I went out and danced to top 40 radio, or how many blockbuster movies captivated me with a perfectly fine tuned pop song right at that pivotal moment…usually a running scene towards some cathartic happily ever after kiss … nothing compared to the music I knew and grew up on.

So, lets fast forward ( for your sake seeing as I’m in a vacation-nostalgia-dear-diary- mood where this could go on forever if I let it)

It’s early 2000… my memory is not so great so I’ll just leave it at that. I found myself in Los Angeles California basically living out of my 24 hour practice room… attending the musicians institute after cheating the entrance exam ( I got the guitarist in the band I was in back than to do it for me… I didn’t know a thing about guitar aside from the fact that I wanted to play it) Begging the admissions office to let me stay ( once they found out during a very awkward first day orientation where they test you to find out what level to place you in… you can imagine the look on their faces when I didn’t know how to form a G chord let alone play some G minor Penatonic scale).They did… It may have been a running bet with the staff to see if I would actually redeem myself or not, or perhaps it was because I was the only other girl ( the first was a metal chick who was really into Pantera and tapping solos) that got accepted. Either way I was in and it wasn’t long until I found myself completely burnt out, starving ( literally and figuratively) and discouraged. I am the type of person that sees where I want to be ( which is usually light years ahead of where I am currently) and obsess, over work, loose sleep and any social life to get to there. I pride myself in the passion and determination I have towards the things I love and set goals towards. However it is this pride and passion that can run me down time and again. California was no different. I had learnt the scales, passed the theory and somehow managed the insane work load meant for students who had graduated out of music school like Berkley. It was half way through the first year and I was lost. I was so focused on  getting the technical and theoretical aspects down, catching up feverishly with my peers to try and jam with them and not look like a complete fool, getting my fingers to move across the fret board and not jam up or stumble aimlessly  that I found myself depressed. A place I never thought my best friend music would take me. I was also surrounded by people who left home and flew to L.A. to find fame, and glamour, to land some “record deal” and be done with it. I got lost in the “industry” and “pseudo-education” of it and some how along the way forgot where I came from. That’s when John Lee Hooker saved my life…

( Gotta go to bed… This clanking of the keyboard next to my sister is becoming increasingly annoying… So as “they” say:… TO BE CONTINUED….)